Monday, March 26, 2012

It's not about where you've been...*

It's almost been an entire year since I've made an update to this thing! Nuts. I was doing so well for a while. So much to update on. This year has been a game changer I believe, my life looks a little different than it did last year, but hey, what's life without the unexpected and surprises. I decided that I do not want to do social work and have transitioned out. I've pretty much made the decision to take next year off and work and volunteer. I've also decided to head into the photography route. That is the reason I'm working actually so I can save up and go to school for it. It's pretty expensive. Also, I finally decided to take the plunge and get that tattoo I've wanted for so long. And I love it. I'm dating the sweetest boy in the world and I have grown a lot this year.

My year started out pretty rough, I really struggled and wrestled with God about the direction he wanted me to take with school and changing my major wasn't exactly what I myself had planned but I knew that it's what I should do. I'm never good with change (that's a work in progress), and I really wrestled with it for the longest time. I decided to take some time off school and take just a couple courses and find work. I struggled with allowing God to take control of my life and began have panic attacks and hopelessness around November and December, it was pretty weird cause I never dealt with that much anxiety before about decisions and life. I knew I had to give it to God but it was a pretty good wrestling match. I'm pretty stubborn. Let's just say it was a pretty rough time. But God is good and he brings you through your struggles. Like Tenth Avenue North puts it, "It's not where you've been but where your brokenness brings you to." I've come to appreciate that phrase and song a lot lately. Anyways, It was a interesting year. God is faithful. That much I know. I guess I always struggle with what people think of me and my decisions and that was also what I wrestled with this year. It's pretty ridiculous I know, because all in all no one really cares and those who do, don't really matter. I'm looking forward to breaking from school and to follow God to see where He leads. It's just nice to know that it's about where I'm going and not where I've been, cause I don't really like where I've been. But I think that's okay.

Anyway, just thought I would throw this page an update even though no one really reads, it's just nice to get it out in the open sometimes.


Nikki said...

FINALLY!!!!!!!!! welcome back!!!

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